Tag Archives: discipline

Discipline, Family Safety, SYN Digital Enrollment Director

Discipline Mistakes Parents Make

Although almost every parent wants great kids, many parents aren’t sure how to get there. Here are three of the most common child discipline mistakes and how to avoid them.

1. Treating children like pets, not people

Starting in the womb, the entire journey of having children is often viewed as a fun new venture for parents, with a completely parent-centered approach to the process that forms a shaky foundation for future discipline.

What makes this outlook so damaging is that it makes it unlikely that parents will do the uncomfortable things required in disciplining happy, well-rounded children. If the parent is unwilling to take the time to teach the child the unpleasant lesson that “Mommy’s voice can’t be ignored,” the child is left to the luck of the draw as he or she darts out into the parking lot as a toddler, or when he or she begins associating with questionable characters after school in junior high.

2. Lack of foresight

By ignoring negative behaviors when a child is small and could be easily taught lessons like “Don’t lie to Mommy” or “We don’t steal candy,” those bad habits can become ingrained.

Instead of laughing off the cute antics of adorable little bold-faced liars, wise parents will envision the same children performing the same acts in 10 or 12 years. If a 3-year-old’s lie seems funny, the parent should hold back the smile and visualize the same child at 15, then an accomplished liar.

Instead of indulging the cherub who refuses vegetables and demands only sweets, parents should picture the same child as an overweight, self-conscious 16-year-old. What can be done today to make his or her life easier then?

3. Assuming discipline = punishment

As health is more than medicine, discipline is more than punishment. Yes, punishment has its place, as does medicine. Still, optimal health means that medicine will rarely be necessary, just as wise discipline causes punishment to be a rare occurrence.

Discipline means “the process of making a disciple.” That process involves a huge host of factors, only one of which is punishment. Other equally vital components of discipline include teaching honesty, respect, reverence, work ethic, health and scheduling.

When parents ignore these other important facets of discipline, their over-emphasis on punishment can send children the unspeakably damaging message that they aren’t loved, which only exacerbates the problem.

Punishment takes discipline, but discipline is more than punishment.

Bullying, Discipline, SYN Digital Enrollment Director

Tips for Talking to Your Kids about Bullying

Today’s parents don’t have to look very far to find examples of bullying. It seems as if stories of bullying can be read about in the newspaper or seen on TV almost every day.

However, the subject of bullying can be challenging to approach with children. Whether a child is in preschool or a senior in high school, parents want to ensure that their kids are safe and confident enough to stand up to bullies. These simple tips can make having the conversation about bullying a little easier.

 

Define Bullying

When parents try to talk to young children about bullying, many kids might not even understand what that word actually means. Other children believe that harassment needs to be physical before it can be classified as bullying.

If parents want to open the lines of communication about bullying, it’s important for kids to understand what all is incorporated into that term. Bullying can consist of:

• Repeated verbal insults
• Continuing threats
• Physical actions like pushing, hitting or kicking
• Social manipulation such as purposeful exclusion or spreading rumors
• Cyberbullying through texts, websites or social media
• Other repeated activities that make a student feel threatened and unsafe

Ask the Right Questions

It’s usually not easy for children and teens to talk about bullying with their parents. Bullying can make students feel helpless, so they might not feel comfortable asking for assistance from parents or teachers.

Asking the right questions can be integral in helping students be honest about what’s happening. Instead of asking them if they are being bullied, try asking “What’s the best thing that happened to you at school today?”, “What’s the worst thing that happened to you at school today?” or “Who do you sit with at lunch time and play with at recess?”

The answers to these questions can provide helpful insights into a student’s day to day life at school.

 

Keep Communication Open

Even if a child isn’t being bullied currently, his situation could change drastically next week.

That’s one of the many reasons why it’s so important for parents to keep the lines of communication open with their children. Every conversation doesn’t need to be serious and teaching major life lessons.

When kids and teens feel comfortable sharing the little details of their days with their parents, they will be more apt to come to their parents when larger issues like bullying arise.

Bullying, Discipline, SYN Digital Enrollment Director, SYN The Bully Expert

Bullying and special needs children

Children with physical, developmental, intellectual, emotional and sensory disabilities are at an increased risk of experiencing bullying at school and in other public places where they spend time, such as playgrounds and parks.

A child with disabilities may not have the verbal skills to speak up for himself or herself and may be more physically vulnerable to aggressive actions performed by bullies. In addition, some types of disabilities cause a child to become a bully.

Teachers, parents and other important adults in the lives of children with disabilities can come together to identify problem behaviors and work towards a solution.

 

Types of Bullying That Affect Children With Special Needs

Bullying is a power imbalance that occurs between two or more people. In most cases, bullying takes place over a duration of time and often progresses to a worsening level of behavior and actions.

There are many forms of bullying that affect children with special needs, including spreading rumors, cyber bullying, teasing, verbal harassment, racial slurs, taunting, making obscene gestures, threats, spitting, kicking, slapping, punching and hitting. Any of these can happen to a child with special needs who may not understand the context or even why people are doing that to him or her.

 

Rights of Children With Special Needs Who Are Bullied

Children with special needs are protected against bullying, harassment and other forms of intimidation. Under federal law, Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and Title II of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990, school systems must address any bullying or threatening behavior exhibited towards children with special needs.

This is true for Head Start all the way through college.

 

Creating a Safe Environment for Children With Disabilities

Schools must provide accommodations for children with special needs.

When bullying takes place, the child must first and foremost be kept safe. Once any medical needs are addressed, the bullying behavior can be considered. Creating a safe environment for children with disabilities may require actions such as amending the IEP, having a meeting with the school counselor and principal, or scheduling supportive services such as psychotherapy or meetings with social workers.

School-wide programs about anti-bullying topics can also be performed as a way to educate the entire school community about this important issue.

 

Bullying, Discipline, Motivation, SYN The Bully Expert

Addressing Bullying In Youth Sports

Bullying has been brought to national attention due to several high-profile tragedies. Bullying in youth sports has been part of the game for decades. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be so.

There are many ways that coaches, parents, referees, volunteers, spectators and kids can work together to keep bullying out of youth sports.

 

Educate Parents

Parents must be educated about the effects of bullying on a victim, the victim’s family, and society as a whole. Some parents may not be willing to believe that their child is the culprit or may try to place the blame upon the victim. Involving coaches and sponsors in the conversation can help to ensure that communication is clear.

 

Call Out Negative Behavior

Institute a clear policy that negative behavior is not allowed by anyone in any aspect of youth sports. Bullying may begin with what seems like simple name-calling or teasing about poor performance. However, the situation can quickly escalate if nothing is done.

Nipping negative behaviors in the bud makes it clear that this type of behavior is not acceptable in youth sports. Every youth sports organization should maintain a zero-tolerance rule that applies to:

•Name-calling
•Teasing
•Aggression
•Threats
•Verbal abuse

 

Become Familiar with Bullying Risk Factors

Understanding the risk factors of becoming a bully can help parents and coaches deter the behavior. Many bullies come from homes where such behavior is typical. There may also be domestic violence in the household.

Bullies often have a short fuse and a bad temper. They may use aggression to solve problems both on and off the field.

 

Being Proactive

Parents and coaches can be proactive at keeping bullying out of youth sports. Coaches can make themselves available to parents and players who need to report problem behavior. Parents can be open and honest with their children about reporting problems and setting good examples of how to treat others. Parents can also teach their children the zero-tolerance rule and not go along with others who are bullying.

Youth sports affords kids the opportunity to form strong relationships, be physically active and learn new skills. Eliminating bullying in youth sports requires that parents, coaches and the community work together to set positive examples, enforce a zero-tolerance policy and create an environment in which everyone is welcome.

 

Bullying, Discipline, SYN Digital Enrollment Director

Understanding the different types of bullies

Just like the many different types of bullying, there are different types of bullies.

Each has their own reasons for bullying and the approach that they take to belittle, intimidate or harass their targets. Today we’re going to look at who these bullies are and how they act out.

 

Popular bullies

Perhaps the biggest bully stereotype is the popular bully. These are the kids who are seen by others as the trendsetters and ones to emulate.

They seek attention as a way to stay on top of the social ladder or climb higher and use bullying to get there. Popular bullies tend to be more physical in their attacks; shoving, punching or stealing from their targets.

 

Relational bullies

Also desperate for attention is the relational bully. They are slightly lower in the social pecking order than the popular bullies but enjoy using their status to decide who will be accepted and who will be outcast.

Their weapon of choice is gossip, name calling and exclusion to slander others in an attempt to keep down those who they don’t like.

 

Serial bullies

If not a target, it would be hard for others to believe a serial bully to be someone who would cause problems for others.

Serial bullies can act and appear to be innocent in the eyes of authority figures and even other students. But when they select a target, they use emotional bullying, manipulation and lying to bring down their victims.

And because they are very careful to fly under the radar of parents and teachers, they are often free to inflict emotional damage for long periods of time without getting caught.

 

Group bullies

As the name suggests, group bullies strike when they are together.

They will imitate the leader of their group as a means to impress that person and prove to the others that they belong. Because they have strength in numbers, group bullies often justify their actions by making the argument that their behavior is acceptable because others are doing it too.

 

Indifferent bullies

The other common stereotype of a bully is the indifferent bully.

These are the bullies who are incapable of feeling emotion and it shows. They often appear cold and detached.

Indifferent bullies are dangerous because they don’t care what happens to themselves or others so they can be capable of inflicting some very serious physical or emotional damage.

 

Bullying, Discipline, SYN Digital Enrollment Director

Is Bullying a Public Health Issue?

The issue of bullying in schools has garnered national attention, but less attention has been paid to the physical toll that bullying can take on both the victim and the child who is bullying another person.

However, as more reports of illness start to appear in areas where bullying is rife, parents and caretakers are starting to take note of how bullying can affect all aspects of a child’s life.

 

Physical and Mental Symptoms

The mental anguish that bullying causes has been well-established by professionals. Now, public health officials are starting to document the physical side effects that bullying has on children and young people.

Common symptoms include:

-Headaches
-Stomach aches
-Depression
-Anxiety

These symptoms can be a bodily response to the stress that both the victim and the perpetrator experience from day to day. Their tendency to appear all at once is what has raised alarm bells for therapists, educators, health workers and childcare specialists.

 

Long-Term Effects

The effects that bullying can have on a young person’s health will have an impact on their wider social group and even their community.

Their productivity suffers due to the illness they are experiencing. They may miss a large amount of school, which can lead to lower grades. In addition, a child’s sense of self-esteem may also be affected.

Both bullies and their victims may turn to emotional eating habits as a means of “self-treating” their illness. This can range from compulsive overeating to deliberate restriction of food intake. Again, these habits can lead to serious health problems that can affect the ability of the child to function in society.

All of these issues can cause problems well into adulthood.

The effects of bullying do not stop as soon as a child leaves school. The emotional trauma of being bullied can cause physical and mental illness for years to come. They may grow into adults who cannot perform well in their professional and personal lives.

 

Taking Action

If schools and educational institutions need another good reason for standing up to instances of bullying, then the fact that it poses a risk to public health and productivity should spur them into action.

By taking action now, the adverse health risks of bullying can be reduced and both bullies and bullying victims can go on to have healthy and productive lives.

 

Bullying, Discipline, SYN Digital Enrollment Director, SYN The Bully Expert

Debunking the popularity myth

Awareness of bullying has dramatically increased in America over the last few years. There are many stories in the news about the disastrous consequences that sometimes take place.

However, many people who are not around the bullying on a regular basis fail to see the reason that it may be taking place. Previously, it was thought that bullying only comes from the top of the social pecking order.

Recent studies, however, have shown that the vast majority of bullying happens between kids in the same perceived social strata.

 

Why bully?

Bullying among adolescents typically is motivated by a desire for some sort of change in social standing.

While many people think that bullying comes from those that are already in a position of high standing among their peers, this is not the case. Instead, the majority of bullying comes from kids who are trying to advance their standing at the expense of their peers.

The question then becomes: What is the cause of this bullying and how does it occur in the first place?

Recent research has shown that children who bully are often victims of bullying or abuse themselves. This may be among their peers, but it could also be something that they have to deal with at home.

Children who have disruptions at home are more likely to bully at school. Problems at home can include divorce, abuse, violence, neglect or a stressful atmosphere. Other issues involve medical conditions, including depression or ADHD.

 

How do we counteract bullying?

It is important that schools make a diligent effort to understand that bullying may be coming from places that they may not expect. In one form or another, bullying happens to a majority of students.

Those who are looking for the social acceptance that they do not get at home are more likely to bully. They are also more sensitive to bullying from others.

Furthermore, parents can do their part to help with bullying by creating more stable environments at home.

There are certain factors that are hard to control, but a continued emphasis on children’s safety is not something that should be overlooked. Lastly, even in stable households, parents can teach their children about bullying and what to do in the event that they see it happening at school or among their friends.

Bullying, Discipline, SYN Digital Enrollment Director, SYN The Bully Expert

How Parents Can Help Stop Bullying

Bullying is not new, nor does in occur sporadically. According to the 2011 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System, 20 percent of students in grades 9–12 experienced bullying.

In any social setting where children gather routinely, vying for power and acceptance can occur, which can create an uncomfortable environment.

 

Motivators behind bullying

Intrinsically, bullying is about power. When a person wants control over other individuals, they will exert mental or physical power over the person they perceive to be weak to gain advantage.

The true motivations are usually rooted in deep-seated jealousy or feelings of inadequacy that they harbor inside, but the person being bullied will not be allowed to see this.

Bullying puts the victim in a state of perpetual fear, no matter how hard they try to avoid it.

 

How parents can help manage bullying

Even those who choose to defend themselves are constantly worried that they will have to do it again and against larger numbers. It may seem, at times, that parents can’t do anything to help their children through these tough times, but there are some actions that can be taken.

Parents can:

  • Pay attention to their child. While some changes are just a part of growing up, others are telltale signs that something is adversely affecting children’s lives. Because kids don’t often ask for help in these instances, it’s up to parents to open the lines of communication, read between the lines and determine when they can do to help.
  • Bullying is something that has gotten worse with the advent of social media sites. Cyberbullying has become a popular form of control. Parents should stay in tune with their child’s social media interactions.
  • Meet with teachers and the principal to determine what can be done to thwart this behavior in school.
  • Find out when the bullying is occurring. If threats have been made outside of school, parents can get the police involved.
  • If the bullying continues after a school’s official intervention, write a Notice of Harassment and file it with the Board of Education.
  • If the bullying persists, file charges. This will put the behavior on record and establishes a pattern. It also serves as documentation for the events.

Parents, school officials and any adults who come into contact with children on a regular basis must watch for signs of bullying and take steps to stop it. These measures are in place to keep children safe.

Child Safety, Discipline, Motivation, SYN Digital Enrollment Director

Teaching Kids Responsibility

Parents want to help their kids be successful, but often fear they’ll teach them the wrong things, or teach them in the wrong way. Luckily, responsibility is something that can be taught by example and explanation as much as by enforcement of rules.

 

Learning Responsibility by Example

Parents are the best models for their child’s behavior, especially in the earliest years of development. They should express earnest interest in chores and go about their business without whining or frowning. Seeing shows of good humor alongside chores will help children associate responsibility with positive rather than negative feelings.

It is also beneficial to invite children to help with household chores and other responsibilities. This interaction helps them understand what to do, as well as reinforcing a positive aspect to the responsibility.

 

Learning Responsibility by Explanation

Kids want approval. They want to behave. They want to do well in the things their parents want them to do well in. If they act out or misbehave, there’s always a reason. Sometimes that reason is frustration born of the fact that they don’t know how to behave correctly.

That’s why explanations are so important. Sometimes it’s not enough to just show kids how to behave responsibly. Many times they don’t understand why a task is important, or perhaps even how to do that task correctly. In either case, explanations are crucial.

A child who not only understands how to do something, but why they should do it is a happy child. Children who misbehave, especially young ones, often don’t know why what they have done is wrong. If they learn how to correct their mistakes, they will most likely do so.

 

Learning Responsibility by Enforcement

Sometimes, of course, kids just won’t live up to the expectations placed upon them. At this point, parents must guide them to good behavior through enforcement of consequences for failures in responsibility.

Of course, parents should also make sure to give positive reinforcement for success. However, they should be wary of providing rewards too early on in a child’s development. Responsibility must be seen as an end in itself, not as an avenue to ulterior benefits.

 

In the End

Responsibility is a matter of modeling good behavior for one’s children. It is also a matter of explaining that behavior, and enforcing the consequences of that behavior, for better or for worse.

Bullying, Child Safety, Discipline, SYN Digital Enrollment Director

Bullying Suicide: 7 signs to watch for

News reports of bullying suicides by children and young adults continue to climb. And a new report sheds light on this scary trend, finding that bullying victims are more than twice as likely to have suicidal thoughts and actions than other children.

 

Warning signs

So how can parents tell if there child is at risk for committing suicide? Here are seven signs every parent needs to look for:

  1. A loss of interest in things they used to enjoy
  2. Appearing to feel hopeless
  3. Changes in appetite
  4. Increasing isolation from friends or family
  5. Sleeping too much or too little
  6. Writing or talking about death/dying
  7. Mentioning suicide

 

What should be done?

While the presence of any of these symptoms don’t necessarily mean that a child is contemplating suicide, it does mean that it is time for parents to step in and talk directly with their child.

Sitting down with the child and asking them to talk about it will be difficult for both parent and child, but often the warning signs are a cry for help. What that child needs is someone who will listen openly and not judge them.

Parents should find out if the child has a plan in place for committing suicide. If there is a time, place and means of suicide in mind, immediate action is required.

 

When to get help

Seek professional help right away, keep dangerous objects (including chemicals, medications, drugs/alcohol) away from the child and don’t leave them unsupervised.

If these details aren’t yet thought through, the situation is still very serious and should not be taken lightly. It may also mean seeking professional help or removing them from their current school.

Bullying suicides are a tragic result of harassment by peers. If parents, educators and friends know the warning signs to look for, it may be possible to prevent more tragedies.