Monthly Archives: July 2013

Child Safety, Discipline, SYN Digital Enrollment Director

Introducing the Child Safety Podcast Series

Hello,

My name is Ed and I manage the content here on the Better Kids Institute blog.Child Safety Podcast

I am pleased to announce that we are just wrapping up a great three-part podcast series called On The Go Child Safety with our child safety experts Kathy Mangold and Dave Young. This series of podcasts is designed to educate parents – and children – on what should happen when out in public to ensure their safety.

Click here for a preview of the Better Kids Institute podcast channel and access to the first episode in the series.

The three podcasts are divided by age grouping and include On the Go Child Safety for:

  • children ages 4-11 years old
  • children ages 12-17 years old
  • establishing safety consequences for preteens and teens

We have broken the series into distinctive age categories so that parents can easily determine the best practices for their children based on age group.

On behalf of all of us here at Better Kids Institute, I hope you find this series helpful.

Please be sure to contact us and let us know what you think of the series. Would you like to see more podcasts like this in the future? We’d love to hear from you!

Confidence, Motivation, Self-Esteem, SYN Digital Enrollment Director

How to Help Children Build Self-Confidence

Tony Buchanan, guest contributor

When children are struggling in school, frustration that results from such failures can be overwhelming and daunting especially to the young children. Research has shown that children develop their self-confidence through their achievements. As children accomplish these achievements, they feel more capable, competent, and ready to do more. Success breeds more success in them. Alternatively, a string of failures can lead to erosion of self-confidence and loss of self-esteem and this can lead to failure in other aspects of life.

Thankfully, private tutors can help children with specific academic issues and provide remedial instructions which go a long way in helping your child regain academic excellence and in the long run self-confidence in other tasks.

Below is a peek as to some of the benefits of having a tutor support your child especially in education matters.



Helps Your Child Do Better in School

While tutors rarely have interaction with the child at school, private tutors such as Tutoring for Excellence, can benefit the child to helping him/her achieve academic success. Beyond assisting the child with hard topics, a private tutor can motivate a child to achieve in the classroom. This is due to the fact that the child receives positive reinforcements from the tutor who portrays the image of a role-model to the child. Children also acquire better learning habits and study skills that interpret to good grades in the long run.


Increases the Child’s self-esteem and self-confidence

Academic success attained in school adds up to become a spiral of success in other areas of life. This success strings breeds self-confidence and self-esteem. A high self-esteem is vital to a child’s life. The more confident the child become, the better they become at forming healthy relationships with their parent/caregivers, teachers and peers. These relationships so formed help in ensuring that the child maintains a positive and a healthy lifestyle.


Redefines the importance of education

Tutoring helps the child to keep a positive attitude towards school. The moment the child sees that their parents, teachers and tutors view education as important; they will appreciate the value of education and view it as important. This in turn translates to better grades at school and thus self-confidence.

 

Importance of teachers, parents and tutors in this process

However, the task of building a child’s self-confidence through education can be a futile task if all the work is left to the tutor. Parents, teachers, and caregivers are also instrumental in building self-confidence and providing a strong support system. Children view them as their champions and thus it is important for them to help strengthen each child’s sense of self, as it serves to protect the child.

Research has shown that, by all the parties being a child’s champion, this serves to boost a child’s protective factors which are crucial in helping the child to resist peer pressures to engage in risky behaviours such as drug abuse and sexual activities. Additionally, these protective factors also determine the child’s relationships with others as well as their success in school.
Simply put, whatever your child’s challenges might be, a qualified tutor can help him/her to overcome learning obstacles and develop self-confidence by serving as a mentor and a guide to your child.

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Tony Buchanan is a passionate blogger, freelance writer and a regular contributor to several blogs. He loves reading news and sharing unique articles through his contents. When Tony is not working, he enjoys music, camping and spending time with his family.

Discipline, Motivation, SYN Digital Enrollment Director

Are you creating a quitter

Summer vacation is finally here, and now that school is done your child might also be ready to put an end to his other commitments. Whether it’s the baseball team, summer camp, or karate class, it is inevitable that at some point your child is going to want to quit. So how do you handle it?

First, realize that this is a great opportunity to talk to your child about perseverance, which is a life skill that is absolutely vital to his success. You can talk about perseverance until you’re blue in the face, but until the time comes when your child actually wants to quit, it’s difficult to put it into practice.

Exceptions to the ruleYou might feel bad about forcing your child to stick with it, but why? It’s good for him, isn’t it?

There are a couple instances in which it is okay to let your child quit. First, if it is an unsafe environment. If during any activity, there are clearly unsafe conditions you must remove your child from that environment.  No activity is worth the chance of a serious injury.  The second is if the activity has no value.  Families are just too busy nowadays to participate in any activity that is not going to increase their child’s chances for success.  Any activity your child participates in should help him to become more confident, more disciplined, and more focused.

Most of the time, however, quitting should not be an option. What if your child says he is bored?  Boredom is often a sign that your child just needs to be challenged differently. If your child says he’s bored, talk to the coach, counselor, or instructor about what you can do to re-motivate him so he can continue to grow.

Times to press on

He might say it’s too hard, but the only way to experience growth is to step outside of your comfort zone.  In any kind of development, it has to be hard before it is easy. Working through that discomfort or difficulty is what is going to give your child the confidence to overcome other obstacles in the future.

Another reason kids want to quit is that they are involved in too many activities. One of the most important lessons we can teach is time management and how to prioritize commitments.  If your child committed to something, now is a great time to teach those lessons.  Once the commitment is fulfilled, talk as a family about which activities you all think are most important to continue. Remember to give more weight to those activities that have more value.

Many times a child will want to quit when starting a new grade or school.  We know one of the best ways to develop confidence is through past experience. In times of transition, whether it’s starting a new school or a new grade, it’s important that children have something consistent that they know they’re good at. Even with an increased workload, they should have a positive, structured after-school activity that will help to develop focus and good work habits.

You might feel bad about forcing your child to stick with it, but why? It’s good for him, isn’t it? You force him to brush his teeth, take baths, eat his vegetables, turn off the TV and do his homework, right? This should be no different. As a parent it is your responsibility to look out for your child’s best interest even when they don’t like what that means in the short term.

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Contributed by Solomon Brenner master instructor Action Karate and Author of Black Belt Parenting. The art of raising your child for success

Child Safety, Motivation, SYN Digital Enrollment Director

What are you putting out?

Recently an analysis was made of 100 of the most successful people in the world. Their ages ranged from around 21 to over 70. Their level of education extended from grade school to the Ph.D. level. Many of their other traits and characteristics varied greatly, but they all had one thing in common: all of them were “good-finders.” They could see the good in other people and in every situation.

There was once a little boy who, angry with his mother, shouted at her, “I hate you!” Afraid that he would be punished, he ran out of the house to the top of a nearby hill and shouted into the valley, “I hate you!” Back from the valley he heard, “I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!” Startled, the boy ran back home and told his mother about the mean little boy in the valley who had shouted that he hated him.  His mother led him back to the hillside and told him to shout, “I love you!” He did as he was told and this time heard a nice little boy saying, “I love you! I love you! I love you!”

Looking for the goodIn order to find the good or ability in a person, all you have to do is look for it.

Life is like the echo in that valley. Whatever you send out comes back. You reap what you sow. What you see in others exists in you. These successful people saw the good in every person and in every situation. They were able to identify and use the good in themselves because they saw it in other people. Having a positive attitude can completely alter the way your life’s events affect you.

You treat people exactly as you see them. In order to find the good or ability in a person, all you have to do is look for it. Once you find that good or ability in the other person, you treat him better and he performs better.

If you always jump automatically to the negative perception of a person or a situation, think about how that makes you look to other people. They only hear negativity and believe you are a negative person. When something good happens or a great opportunity presents itself to them, will they want to share that positive experience with someone who is always negative?

How you can find it

Here’s a good exercise that you can do with your family at home. Every time something bad or negative happens, write down the date. Instead of writing the negative thing, write down something positive that came out of it or could come out of it with the right mindset. When you look at the list, you will only see positive events and that will be what you are able to focus on.

If your child complains about someone they don’t like at school or on their baseball team, ask them to name one good thing about that person. Remind them, too, that a lot of times people are negative, mean or unhappy people because something or someone in their life made them that way. They shouldn’t jump to judge someone they don’t know because they are only seeing part of the picture. Not only that, but by returning their negativity with kindness they are more likely to receive kindness in return.

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Contributed by Solomon Brenner master instructor Action Karate and Author of Black Belt Parenting. The art of raising your child for success

 

Discipline, Parenting, Self-Esteem, SYN Digital Enrollment Director

Helping Your Kids Through The Tough Times Of A Divorce

Jeff Miller, guest contributor

As difficult as your divorce is on you, it’s significantly harder on your kids. Sure, we like to think that kids are resilient and can overcome anything, but the fact is that the emotional scars left behind by divorce can haunt your children for the rest of their lives.

Why exactly is divorce so hard on kids?

  • Children have a tendency to blame themselves for divorce. This means they carry a lot of guilt and self-loathing.
  • Children grieve the loss of their parents. Even in a co-parenting situation, kids often feel like they’re losing their parents as they no longer live together.
  • Children often have their lives turned upside down by divorce. A divorce can often force kids to move to new, unfamiliar surroundings, sometimes causing them to leave their friends behind. Finances can also be tight after a divorce, creating another lifestyle shift for the kids.
  • Children often question if their divorced parents still love them. This is the hardest thing for kids to deal with. When they see their family being torn apart, they can’t help but question if their parents still love them.

So, what can you do as a parent to help your kids cope with your divorce?

  • Be honest with your kids—Maintaining (or regaining) the trust of your children after a divorce is certainly a major challenge. Your kids may feel betrayed, and they might believe you have been lying to them the whole time. That’s why now is the time to be open and honest with your kids. That doesn’t mean you need to tell them everything – you need to be age appropriate in your communications – but you do need to be honest and you need to make sure to clearly communicate that they are in no way at fault.
  • Make love a priority—Showing your children love during and after your divorce is essential to the healing process. Your divorce will keep you busy and it will take a lot out of you, but you cannot neglect your children. You must make an effort to spend time with them and to give them plenty of love.
  • Don’t bombard them with too many changes at once—One of the hardest things about divorce for kids is that it disrupts their lives. They may have to move to a new home, transfer to a new school, and get used to a totally different life. Do your best to make these changes slowly so that your kids don’t feel more overwhelmed than they already do.
  • Maintain structure and discipline—This is a tough one for divorcing parents. You and your kids are hurting from the divorce, and no single parent wants to be the “bad parent.” But it’s important that you still fulfill your role as the parent. That means giving your kids structure and disciplining them consistently.
  • Don’t neglect your own personal healing—How can you expect to help your kids heal if you can’t heal yourself? It’s important that you focus on rebuilding yourself after your divorce. Get support from family, friends, and others who can help you during this difficult time.

Remember, healing takes time, but if you do your part as a parent, you can play a major role in helping your kids through the tough times of a divorce.

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Jeff Miller is the founder and senior counsel at Miller Law Associates, a law firm that offers clients reasonably priced, flat-fee legal representation for divorce in Florida.

Child Safety, Discipline, SYN Digital Enrollment Director

Being Aware of Your Surroundings ALWAYS Pays Off!

Hello. This is Dave Young with an important story I’d like to share with you.

About 8pm on a Wednesday night, I was sitting in my car in the parking lot waiting for my adult son to return from inside the store when I noticed two girls about 11-13 years old standing by the front door.

The ployRemember parents, you’re taking the most precious treasures you have to the store with you and there are others shopping for those treasures.

As other children around their age walked out of the store, the two girls would hand them a piece of candy and talk to them for a few seconds. Then, when their parent or adult showed up a man standing by his car parked next to the entrance of the store would call the two girls’ names (changing their names each time) and the girls would stop talking to the child and run back to the man.

The Potential Victim

After watching for a few more minutes, I noticed a small boy about 8 years of age walk out of the store alone. As the two young girls approached him they handed him a piece of candy. The boy took the candy and started to laugh and play with the girls; no adult walked outside with the boy and the man called out to the girls who grabbed the boy by the hand and continued to play and laugh and started to walk over to the car with the boy in hand.

The one thing that raced through my mind was, “Where in the *&^%$! are the kids parents?” I got out of my car and yelled to the man, “Hey, are you that boy’s dad?”

Just then the boys mom walked outside pushing two carts, one in front and the other in back. The girls let go of the boy’s hand who ran smiling to his mom, while the girls got in the car with the man and drove away. Everything happened within 5 seconds or less. I was too far for a tag but the car was a new Chevy Impala.

The Lesson

Remember parents, you’re taking the most precious treasures you have to the store with you and there are others shopping for those treasures. DO NOT LET them take your precious treasure away from you!

When you go shopping with your children, do you make sure they stay close by? Do they know what to do if a stranger approaches them?

Bullying, Child Safety, SYN Digital Enrollment Director, SYN The Bully Expert

Bullying: Parental Intervention, How to Fight Back

Bullying — a situation that has become a common occurrence around the world. Whether one is in school or at work, he may never escape the threat of being bullied. While bullying is not only limited to learning centers, it is however most common in these kind of places. Bullying inside the school is happening at very alarming frequency. But what is bullying? 

Bullying is not just mere abuse of power or authority. It is also not the same as assault or harassment, although bullying could be constituted of such actions. Bullying could be defined as intentional aggressiveness towards persons perceived as lesser in terms of strength, power, stature, social status and even authority. The bullying act could come either verbally or physically and typically places the victim under a lot of stress.

In school, bullying even comes to the point where students become afraid of attending class because of the fear of bullies. Typical acts of bullying include victims being used by bullies as their personal gophers or as their cash coffers. Other typical acts of bullying include bullies playing insensitive pranks on their victims (i.e. showering them with water while walking on the hallway) as well as making sure that their victims are embarrassed in front of a number of classmates or schoolmates.

The role parents play

Parents’ intervention and prevention are typically needed to fight back against bullying. This does not mean that a parent should do things that would allow him or her to exact revenge against his/her child’s bullies. This means that parents could do things that would either prevent their children from becoming bullies or becoming the victim of bullies. In either of the two, parents shoulder the responsibility and duty to make sure that their children are growing up properly.  

The existence of bullies could be traced from homes where parents — either the father or mother — are not so involved in the parenting process, especially during the formative years of their children. Children who grew up in a family where physical and verbal violence is a normal way to handle household issues and problems view such actions as normal. They think the physical and verbal abuse is just normal, even when dealing with other people who they think might be inferior to them. Thus, parents who are responsible enough in handling their family and their children could prevent more young people from becoming bullies. This could be considered as the best way to fight bullying. When there is one less bully in the world, there is also one less victim of bullying.

Still a problem

One main reason why bullying still occurs in schools is that victims typically would not report incidence of bullying, even to their parents. This prevents academic tutors and administrators and, most of all, parents from doing any intervention act. When no one intervenes, bullies and victims will keep on increasing in numbers. Bullies feel the power surging when they bully, while victims do not report for fear that the situation would only get worse. Parents must always find ways to encourage their children to report bullying incidents for them to be able to intervene promptly and appropriately.

In the end, it always depends on the parents on how they will prevent bullying or intervene when such acts occur to their children.

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About the author

Lindsey is a working mom with three children aged 3, 6 and 9. She is very active in parent-school activities despite working as an assistant counselor at a medium-sized firm. She written a research paper on bullying and also had essays written on the topic.

Child Fitness, Child Safety, Martial Arts, SYN Digital Enrollment Director

Taking a New Direction as a Parent – Is Foster Care Right For Me?

After the birth of our son, my husband and I couldn’t wait to continue growing our family. We loved the whirlwind that followed him around, and loved the way he could light up a room – and the lives of everyone in it.

Unlike most couples though, we took a slightly different route when it came to having a second child. We became foster carers.

We wanted to fill our home with a child’s laughter, but we also wanted to make a difference in a child’s life. After seeing an advert on Facebook recruiting carers in our area, we jumped at the chance and haven’t looked back since.

If you’re thinking of taking a new direction as a parent, foster care could be right for you. Here, I’m going to share with you a warts-and-all account of the process to help you make the right decision – for you and a child.

1. Are you prepared for the application process?

The process to become a foster carer was unlike anything we had undergone before. The first thing to be aware of is that this is a long, daunting, challenging, and often intrusive process; something which puts many prospective parents off.

Our journey took 6 months to complete, something which we were assured is completely normal. It began with us making an enquiry online, and was followed by a telephone chat with the agency.

Before you’ve even signed on the dotted line, you need to be aware that you will receive a home visit from the agency. This is to discuss your enquiry in more detail, and get a general idea of how suitable you will be. It is at this stage that you will then complete an application form.

The assessment that follows is pretty intense, and not for everyone. Our social worker visited 7 times to carry out a full assessment of our home and suitability as carers. We also had prior training to ensure we were fully prepared.

Finally, after this stage, we were approved and told to await news of our first placement. Be under no illusions that this is a lengthy process; and something you really need to prepare for before you begin your journey.

2. Do you have a spare room?

One of the first questions we were asked when enquiring about foster care, was did we have a spare room. Even though we already had a child of our own, any foster child would need their own bedroom to sleep in. You’ll need to prove that you have the space at home to house everyone comfortably.

In the UK, there has been some concern over how ‘Bedroom Tax’ will affect foster carers; a further challenge that has been putting many families off foster care. My advice would be to see how this will impact on you, before you enquire.

3. What type of placement are you able to offer?

Another thing to consider when deciding if foster care is right for you is what type of placement you are able to offer. Fostering is not to be confused with adoption; in fact, there are a number of important differences to consider.

When we looked into fostering, we didn’t realise there were quite so many types of placement. These include:

  • Emergency Placements – These are offered on extremely short notice, and are for children whose parents have been deemed unfit to care for them.
  • Short Term/Temporary Placements – These are only a few days or weeks long, and provide a ‘middle ground’ before a child moves on to long term care or adoption.
  • Long Term Placements – These placements can last months or even years, before children are moved on.
  • Respite Placements – These placements are designed to give the birth parents of challenging or disabled children a well-deserved break.

4. Can you deal with difficult children?

Another question to ask yourself when considering fostering is: “Can I care for a child with behavioural difficulties?”

When our foster daughter came to live with us she was very challenging due to her upbringing and it took her a long time to settle in and calm down. You may find yourself caring for a child with a physical or mental disability; and you need to be able to offer the specialist care they need.

While you will receive training and support, it’s important to do your research and be sure that you can cope with anything fostering throws at you.

5. Are you willing to foster children of all ages?

When we enquired about fostering, we were surprised to learn that there is a real shortage of carers for older children.

If you’re thinking about fostering, you need to be willing to care for children of all ages, backgrounds and upbringings. Making a difference to an older child’s life will no doubt challenging, but it’s the most rewarding job you can do.

Taking a new direction as a parent and becoming a foster carer was one of the best decisions we made, and we wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s challenging; but it is truly rewarding and we’d recommend it to anyone.

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Rachael Walker is an ex-marketing manager turned full-time Mommy blogger. When she’s not looking after her children, you’ll find her baking, gardening, and keeping fit. Find out more about her journey as a foster mother on her blog.